The Drunk Santa Blog

Indians: A report

A movie like Rock On failed to make a mark in the mainstream even with its brutal guitar solos and great drumming by Luke Kenny and gutter vocals by Farhan Akhtar which clearly indicates something: we Indians are different from people. Below is a detailed report on Indians as people.

1. We elect people we like on the basis of their face. Most of us haven’t even herd of what they have to say about whatever. The people who do listen to them speak probably are present there for the money. People who don’t even go to vote say they hate politics and that the government which has been elected is the worst government in the history of India. People who can’t vote don’t even know the general idea about voting. After 60 years of development and copying the United States of America we still don’t have e-voting.

2. Our media people hype things which are not important. Instead of concentrating on the issues which the government should take care of, they show footage of the reality show Big Boss. They also information like high inflation public and cause a scare which causes people who don’t want to raise prices/understand inflation raise the prices of products they sell. Hindi news channels talk about how crappy our government is and how notes are being printed by the D gang.

3. People say they are open-minded but when they see a guy and a girl together they all think the same thing: “Holy shit that dude is getting that ass.” A guy and a girl cannot be friends. Having a boyfriend/girlfriend is ‘in’ and people who aren’t in a relationship/banging anyone are said to be gay :|

4. “Sex is a bad thing which should be saved after you get married. Sex can make you a slut.” Yeah that’s what parents are telling their kids. But what the oh-so-smart kids don’t realize is that those parents had sex when they ‘made’ them and you can’t prove if they did it before marriage or after it XD

5. Let’s face it even though our civics textbook says we are a secular state. We hate minorities. A proof is of what has going on in Orissa since days now. [I can't really elaborate on this topic more because I can't be sensitive atm :|]

6. We are against development. We just are, we wanna be protective about our culture and our heritage but we forget that those things are not gonna feed us. We need that Tata plant in Singur. But no, agriculture is the top priority! We earn so much from the primary sector :O

7. We Copy: It’s in our blood. We copy from other countries, we copy in exams. We copy everything and anything we can. Like the skywalk? WTF? You guys don’t even have proper highways and you are spending millions on a stupid piece of road which is useful to …?

8. We say that people who study in India should stay in India. For? A call center job?. Heck over population in our country is making this country go nuts. Plus the lack of jobs due the the development forces a person like me/anybody else who dislikes the system in India go to the U.S or the U.K or to Africa.

9. We watch all Ekta Kapoor serials and then go ‘WTF does that woman make man’ If we don’t get what she makes, how about we stop watching it and switch on to Discovery and shit? Oh no wait how ice is melting doesn’t matter to us! We love Tulsi so much <3

10. We get influenced easily from movies. We seriously are after Jaane Tu…Ya Jaane Na, I have seen at least ten girls buying a cap/hat like the one the girl wears in the movie.I see people wearing sunglasses and ‘Rock’ tees in college after Rock On. After Ghulam in 1997 the song ‘Aati kya khandala‘ was used for eve teasing and many people burned their tongue with that trick Aamir Khan did in the movie. Kids go in the balcony and try to sit on a broom and fly after watching Harry Potter. People are scared of crows after Phoonk. WTF?

Maybe all these things apply to me too, maybe :P

[No sentiments wanted to be hurt by the post, I'm sorry if they were. I do understand that the post is quite offensive if you have a good reason you can email us thedrunksanta at gmail dot com and we will take it down :)]

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